Go To Your Circle

Go To Your Circle

I have a confession…I hate Sunday mornings.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  I say the words, “I hate Sundays” under my breath almost every Sunday morning but I don’t really mean it.  We get ready for school five days a week with relatively few hiccups but somehow Sunday mornings feel incredibly hectic and stressful.  Perhaps it’s the added expectation that everyone needs to “look nice”.  Maybe it’s because we usually stay up too late on Saturday nights.  Or it could be that there are forces working against me that just don’t want me to make to church.  Whatever the case may be, I’m usually a hot, crabby mess until we finally get everyone in the car and are on the road.  

This morning was no exception.  During the church service my mind began to wander (as it sometimes does) and I found myself feeling disappointment in myself for being snippy this morning.  I began to talking to God about the worries I was feeling about being a good mom and wife, and worries for my children and my job.  In the midst of my conversation, God spoke.  

I love when God speaks, it’s completely astonishing that GOD would speak to a human… He’s GOD for pete’s sake!  It’s even more amazing that He chooses to speak to me.  Especially in times like this morning where I find myself disobedient, distant, and apathetic.  What did He say?  “Get in your circle.”  

Prayer does not come naturally for me.  Interceding for others just isn’t my gift.  Several months ago I decided that this was an area I needed to work on.  My family and friends, especially my children and husband need me to be a better “prayer warrior” for them.  A good friend had let me borrow her copy of The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  I had seen this book and heard many people rave over it but let’s be honest…the first thing that came to my mind when I read the back cover was, “Ugh, ‘name it, claim it’”.  Not for me.  I am a “God’s will be done” girl which means I’m very uncomfortable asking God for anything concrete.  Usually, my prayer requests consisted of wisdom, patience, and rest.  Much needed but admittedly shallow.  I took a chance, read the book, and I’m so glad that I did!

The “Circle Maker” in the book draws a circle in the dirt during a drought and exclaims to God that he will not move from the circle until God makes it rain.  Bold statement.  The Circle Maker did encourage me to pray bigger and more specific prayers (although, it still feels awkward) but more importantly it simply got me praying and praying consistently.  I haven’t drawn a circle in my carpet and refused to leave it until God has answered my prayers but I do think of myself as “inside my circle” when I pray.  For the “Circle Maker”, it was a physical circle, for me, it’s a metaphorical circle.  A circle that, with the right attitude, can follow me throughout my day.  That’s why, when I start to waiver in my consistency, God tells me to get back in my circle. 

That’s what He said to me this morning and it brought me to tears.  Of course!  How simple!  I was feeling overwhelmed and lost because I was disconnected from the one who makes sense from the nonsense of life.  This week I will get in my circle.  Despite everything on my Happy Planner, I will make spending time in my circle my priority.  

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

I cannot list the wonderful ladies who have influenced me to become a better mom.  Thank you for your wisdom and advice and for your patience and encouragement.

Unfamiliar Territory

Unfamiliar Territory

It’s been one year and 6 months since we finalized our adoption. Most days I’m in the trenches, learning how to be a mom, working full time, figuring out what a wife looks like when 5 kids are thrown in the mix, learning how to cook, and swimming through lots and lots of laundry. We’ve had amazing victories and breakthroughs and as many failures and setbacks. It is awesome! I have always prayed that God would use our family for some purpose and recently that longing has become a burning fire inside me that sometimes completely consumes me. And so, I’ve recently found myself in very unfamiliar territory: Social Media.

I feel like “stage” is a great definition of the social media landscape in our world today. I am a backstage kind of girl. I will run your spotlight, build your sets, make your coffee but please, do not put me on the stage. The stage is exposed, vulnerable, and scary! I mean…people might look at me! But still, I have been subtly drawn to that exposure. My first and biggest step was to switch my Instagram account (which I hadn’t used much) to a “business” account. Open to all the world to see. Insanity, to be quite honest. I uncovered a logo Jared created 15 years ago for his business, added a heart, and made it our family’s logo. After much prayer I declared a family motto. I started using hashtags and changed my name on certain accounts to something that might be easier to search. I even created a YouTube channel but don’t get excited… that one is a LONG ways off. Let’s not be silly.

Sometimes I think this is all completely ridiculous. Sometimes I worry that I’ll be sucked into the vortex and become obsessed with followers and likes. (I turned off my notifications to keep that from happening.) But, in the uncomfortable steps toward the stage, I have felt at peace. If my pictures and stories turn the head of one person who needs to be nudged towards Christ, adoption, or foster care, I’m all in.

God how great You are
Great things You have done
For everything we’ve seen
There is more to come.
Every victory
Every battle won
For everything we’ve seen,
There is more to come.
-Passion