Well…we did it. We survived our first foster placement.
Since my last posting we were placed with two kiddos and just this morning they left our house. We received a small boy and girl immediately after they were pulled from their home. They had a lot of needs, we spent the 30 days we had them addressing their more serious needs like dental, vision, and communication (both were non-verbal) and made great strides. God was gracious to us in connecting us with amazing health, dental, and vision clinics as well as awesome preschool staff that acknowledged our short timeline and bent over backwards to help the children. We are so grateful for everyone that encouraged us and helped us survive what tonight feels like a battle. I know that I would not even consider doing this again if we hadn’t received your support.
As we met new people and shared this experience with friends we heard time and time again words like “I really admire what you are doing” and “Those kids are lucky to have you” and “You’re such good people”. To be completely honest, I really struggled with those words. I am not sure that I would have been told those things if they knew my heart. I have (and still do) questioned God many times about why this was the path that He chose for me. I am most definitely not the right person for this job…mostly because it feels like a job to me. I have resisted fostering for many years and finally agreeing to it felt like letting go of my dream. You don’t foster children to grow your family. As I’ve continued to struggle with this reality I had a moment just last week as I was driving home from work (it was a short moment) when I felt God ask me “What is ‘family’?” We have touted the phrase “Family does not always equal blood” since we began this journey but maybe I need to also consider that “Family isn’t always permanent”. What a tough pill to swallow!!
One thing is sure: God is revolutionizing how I view everything. I have been resistant, but He has been patient. I was reminded of a quote this morning by David Platt, “We care not for orphans [or, in our case foster children] because we are rescuers, but because we are the rescued.” Mic drop.