Jared has said for many years that my tight heel-cords must be a sign or symptom of my stubbornness. I will admit, I like things the way I like them and that’s how I like it. That being said, I have struggled in my stubbornness thorough this part of the adoption process. Up until now, I have been very driven about getting things done. Paperwork, book reports, online trainings…no problem. Now that our focus has shifted to the selection process and financial aid…problem! I absolutely hate tooting my own horn and I feel like this stage has called for that. I joked throughout the early stages that the part I dreaded most was the profile book. Thirty pages selling ourselves to expectant parents. Pictures, stories, and information just about us. Can’t I just do thirty pages about the dogs?? I have more pictures of them than I do of us! No?? Bummer!
Once the book was complete I breathed a huge sigh of relief, thinking the worst was over until Jared busted my bubble with one word…fundraising. Uck! We debated, asked for advice from our agency and friends, and did a lot of praying. The verdict: Jared is more stubborn than I am! Fund raising it is.
It is usually pretty easy for me to trust Jared. Behind the goofy, simple, farm boy exterior is a very wise man. This however, has been really hard for me. Wasn’t the book enough?? How can we ask people for money knowing full well they face the same financial challenges we face?? Now, you want me to create a blog and share it with everyone?? Cruel and definitely unusual! I have coped some attitude and intentionally drug my feet a little but Jared has been very patient (for the most part) in prodding me to get things done.
We decided (thankfully) that we desire peoples prayers more than we desire their financial assistance. Not that we don’t need the financial assistance, our $30,000 bill says that we do but for us this stopped being about starting our family years ago. This is and always has been about God and what He wants to do in our lives. God will provide the finances, we have no doubt. If He chooses to use our friends and family to do so, we pray desperately that they are blessed beyond belief for their generosity. Even more than that, we have a sneaky suspicion that God wants to do something big with this experience allowing us to encourage and help others that share our boat.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)